These stories are simply hillarious!
Me: “Hello, ma’am. How may I help you?”
Woman: “Oh, when is your baby due?”
Me: “I’m not pregnant, ma’am, just fat.”
Woman: “That’s very rude, you know. Pretending to be pregnant just so people can be nice to you!”
Me: *gritting teeth* “I am not pretending anything, ma’am, I promise you. Now, how may I help you?”
Woman: “No! You are a liar, and I am going somewhere where non-lying people can help me!”
Me: “Thank you ma’am, and have a nice day.”
Woman: “LIAR!”
Me: “Hello, ****** Fencing Club.”
Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for some galvanized pipe.”
Me: “I’m sorry, I think you may be confused. This is a fencing club… you know, the sport. We don’t actually make fences.”
Customer: “Oh… you see, I’m making a cage for a parrot. Do you have any galvanized pipe?”
Me: “No, I don’t think you understand. We don’t have material for building fences, we do sword fighting here. It’s a sport. Foils, epees, sabres.”
Customer: “Oh, okay… it needs to be galvanized so that it won’t chip if the parrot bites it.”
Me: “I don’t think you’re following me. We don’t build fences here, and we don’t have pipe.”
Customer: “Oh, I see… you see, I need to make the cage for a movie set, and it needs to be galvanized so that it doesn’t chip if the parrot bites it.”
Me: *giving up* “Galvanized pipe, you say?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “Try the Soccer Centre.”
Customer: “The Soccer Centre?”
Me: “Yeah, the Soccer Centre.”
Customer: “Thank you!”
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